It's Over (?)

"Finally get over him, eh?"
I found this sentence from Momon, when I told her about him. He is here now. He is in Jakarta now. A few months ago, I still crying and wondering about him. I still feel kinda hurt when I know I can't get close more than just a friend. I still can't forget him because every little thing I do always reminds me of him. I still wondering if he thinks of me like I think of him every single day.
That's a few months ago. It's now. I saw him this evening when I go to church for the Holy Mass. For a few seconds, my heart beats so fast. He's more charming than I met him last year. After that, I saw him again. Then he left without any hellos and any goodbyes. So do I. No, I don't want to escape from him all the times. For any reason, he still a friend of mine. I just want some little times to neutralise my heart from the feelings. I need some times to warn myself that he is only a friend of mine. I have to say to myself that he is not think of me all the time like I do. I have to moving on.
It's not as easy as I say it. He is the first man whom makes me like a crazy people. He is the first whom succeed makes me falling deep in love. All I want from a man whom will be with is in him. He's too perfect for me. My heart always beats super fast when someone calls his name. I have some sweet memories with him. A very special little moments with him. Damn. I've been in love so much with him. But now, when I see him again, let's guess. I don't feel anything.
It's sounds silly, eh? But, there's nothing silly when you feel you're in love. You'll do everything just to see him, even in far distance. You'll very happy when he calls your name. You'll always wondering what does he do now, when you can't see or meet him. Silly and weird? For 6 years, I through all this silly things.
To be honest, now, yeah right now when I write on you, I feel something weird. I can't explain it but it just like an empty feel. I can't feel anything of him. I can't feel the love that I always feel. But, dunno why, I really want to cry.
Now, I just want him to know what I feel for 6 years. Love which people always say is a sweet thing, it doesn't work on me. I know it's a sweet grace from God but I feel really hurt for loving him. I falling too deep and I feel the hurt now. I just want it over. I just want God erase his name from my mind and my heart. It's enough.
If some people ask me like Momon ask me with that question, surely I will answer them : "I hope so."